All That You Are Page 16

  Rather than try to substantiate any of her actions, she simply plunged in with the question she’d silently dared herself to ask. It would prove once and for all that she was afraid of no one, that she ran from nothing. “Terran has hockey practice tonight—would you like to come and watch him?”

  Mark cocked his head, rain dampening his hair and causing it to curl slightly at his collar. “What was that?”

  She could tell he’d heard her the first time, but he was making her repeat it. Making her be uncomfortable all over again inviting him to do something with her. And that the event involved her son. An aspect of her life she kept mostly private.

  Private. It didn’t really mean much around here. Ketchikan was a small town. She ran into people she knew all the time. She really had no secrets, no privacy to speak of. Everyone knew most everyone’s business. Daily tidbits were a given fact to be traded at the various local hangouts.

  So why not just put Mark in the loop, right out in the open in her everyday events? He was working around the bar for her. The natural course was that he had become her friend.

  “Tonight my son has hockey practice and I wondered if you’d like to come.”

  Without hesitation, Mark easily replied, “Sure, what time?”

  Dana’s heart sank, a mixture of dismay and confusion. In the early hours of morning when she’d lain in bed trying to fall asleep, the scene she’d repeatedly played out in her head had Mark declining her invite. She hadn’t really thought Mark would want to watch a bunch of five-year-olds scramble and splatter on the ice.

  The whole point had been to prove to him she wasn’t afraid of anything between them. Or of being seen in public with Mark as if she were romantically interested in him.

  Damn, she should have known he’d respond with the opposite of what she’d anticipated.

  In a tone that held no preamble, she replied, “Practice starts at seven.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll pick you up and drive you over to the rink.”

  “I can drive myself,” she sputtered. She’d wanted to be in control and she found herself being led by Mark, not guiding him.

  “I know where you live, so I’ll be by at six-thirty.”

  Curiosity melted her resolve to stay unaffected by him. “How do you know where I live?”

  “I’m resourceful.” He gave her a charming half grin, raking damp hair from his brows. “Hell, sweetart, don’t look so shook-up about it. A while back, I asked the right people—just in case.”

  Mouth half-open, she blurted, “Just in case, what?”

  “Just in case I had a reason to come pick you up.”

  RINK TIME HAD BEEN FORMED on a giant level sand bed, then a massive layer of concrete had been poured on top. Mark had never built an ice rink, but he knew enough about them to know that pipes underneath carried an antifreeze to keep the surface chilled.

  The indoor rink seemed fairly new. The entry had a pro shop for equipment, and there’d been a rental desk, as well as a snack bar and arcade. Mark couldn’t remember the last time he’d been at an ice-skating rink. Boise had only gotten its rink some ten or so years ago, long after he’d been young enough to want to hang out there.

  Sitting on a bleacher, Mark stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. Dana sat a body-width distance between them, having barely said a few sentences on the way over. She wore a pale cream down vest, black turtleneck sweater, a pink scarf and mittens.

  “What number am I looking for again?” Mark questioned while staring at a sea of black-and-gold uniforms and helmets. It was hard to discern which boy was hers among those on the ice.

  “Four.”

  “How long’s Terran been playing?” Mark asked, making small talk.

  “Since he was three.”

  “They start that young?”

  “His dad’s into it and got him on the ice at a young age.”

  Mark chewed on that information, realizing that co-parenting a child with a former partner must be challenging. He knew these situations were pretty commonplace, but he didn’t have firsthand experience himself, nor did he know of anyone going through the same thing.

  The thought had crossed Mark’s mind to check out the GCI Cellular store in town just to see who worked there. He didn’t have the guy’s name, other than knowing his last name started with a B. But he’d opted out of going. It didn’t matter to him who Dana’s ex-love was. She’d moved on, or so she led him to believe. And he did believe her.

  You didn’t kiss a man the way she’d kissed him if your heart was elsewhere. Mark had known many women in his past and he knew which ones were jerking him, and which ones had another guy on their mind. Then there were the ones who just wanted to feel good in bed.

  There’d been plenty who’d simply wanted him. And he’d hung around for a while enjoying that.

  “Hi, Dana,” said a woman on the bleacher bench in front of them.

  “Hey, Laura,” Dana replied in a friendly tone. But then said nothing further, and made no introductions.

  Apparently the woman was another enthusiastic hockey mom. Mark noticed he’d become surrounded by parents encouraging their kids, who skated and took headers chasing pucks sliding over the ice.

  Mark felt somewhat out of place within the group.

  Times like these, he wondered what it would have been like to have a kid. He could go either way about it—there had been no bio-clock-burning desire to father a child before he’d reached a certain age. He’d always figured if it happened, it happened.

  As a Catholic—even though it had been a long time since he’d attended a Mass, he believed in the sanctity of marriage, and would never have let the woman who bore his child go it alone. No matter what, he’d promise to make their relationship work. In a perfect world, he’d find the right woman to love, marry, then have a family if that’s what they both desired.

  He didn’t judge Dana. Everyone was different. God knew he was no saint.

  Leaning back on her elbows on the bench behind her, Laura addressed Dana. “Coach is having them practice their cut-across drill. They need work on it, but Terran’s already got it down.”

  “Thanks. He’s pretty good.”

  “Must be in the genes.” Laura’s smile was complimentary, but her curious gaze fell on Mark when she spoke. He semi-smiled at her, then his attention returned to the ice.

  Terran’s ability was better than pretty good. For a little dude, he skated seamlessly, fighting the pack with an easy command of his angled hockey stick. His short legs worked hard, so when he took a tumble, he didn’t have far to fall to the ice. He clambered right to his feet and off he went again.

  The coach stood on the sidelines instructing the kids to get moving, and telling them where to push the puck over the blue line and who should pass a drop shot. He seemed pretty competent. Not too bad-looking, either. Dirty-blond hair, built fairly well. Tall, but not stocky. He skated without effort, going forward and backward.

  Mark wondered how many of the women here had a thing for the guy—if they ever wanted some private coach time.

  “You like the coach?” Mark asked, making sideways talk.

  Dana’s brows furrowed slightly, then she shrugged. He loved the play of her hair around her face, the long length that had been flattened into a silky curtain. “He’s okay.”

  “Seems like he knows what he’s doing.”

  “He does.”

  When the practice was finished, Dana wanted to go down to the locker room and say hi to her son. Mark learned it wasn’t her week to have him.

  Once in the small room where boys sat on benches and stuffed skates and socks in practice duffels, Dana found Terran.

  “Hey, baby!” she called, then scooped him into a hug as she bent over him.

  “Hi, Momma.” He squeezed her back, then almost sheepishly slipped away from her as if, even at a young age, being hugged by your mom with your buddies around was embarrassing.

  “You did really good today. I saw you doing your weave
drill. You were so much better.”

  “Dad showed me how.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  Her mood was upbeat, and she showed enthusiasm for her son’s aptitude for hockey. When the coach came into the room, her bright expression somewhat darkened. And when the guy came toward them, Dana became visibly self-conscious with Mark at her side.

  “Hi, Dana,” he said, his hazel eyes pinned directly on Mark.

  Mark got the sense that the coach felt some kind of personal attachment to Dana, as if he wanted to hit on her or something.

  That didn’t sit well with Mark, although he had no claims to her. He knew Dana was striking—knew men would seek her attention. Even so, Mark didn’t want to be around when they did. He didn’t like the jealousy he felt.

  He stood close to Dana, maybe too close, as if to fend the guy off and make him take a step back.

  Rather than say nothing, Mark addressed the coach head-on. “I’m Mark.” He extended his hand. “I’m Dana’s friend.”

  The suddenly smug coach gripped his fingers, squeezing tight. “And I’m Cooper—Terran’s dad.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  DANA PROBABLY OWED Mark an explanation even though he hadn’t asked the question.

  Looking at the city lights below, she stood on his condo deck, embracing the temperate evening. The daytime temperature had reached sixty-four degrees and after sunset the air had settled into the low fifties—warm by July’s standards. No rain had fallen today with little in the weekend forecast.

  But weather wasn’t really on Dana’s mind as she listened to Mark move around in the kitchen behind her. The tall panoramic windows in the condo’s living room weren’t covered by blinds and the light from the kitchen poured onto the deck. At the railing, she watched the cars in the distance drive along the streets bathed in the fuzzy glow of double-headed streetlights.

  She could actually see the Blue Note bar from here, a vague outline shadowed in the marina.

  Slipping hands into her vest pockets, she thought back to the hockey practice tonight.

  While Mark probably hadn’t noticed, Seth and Jacob’s parents had studied them with curiosity. From the interested look Laura gave Mark, she definitely wanted to know all about who he was. Dana had never brought anyone to Terran’s practices except her mother. Suni came on the weeks they had Terran, and on others, she chose not to. But she never missed one of his games.

  Tonight Dana had invited Mark—not to meet Cooper or to even remotely have Cooper see her with someone else. She’d done it to move forward in her life, to mix things up and just do the normal things a single woman did—like socialize with men as friends.

  The look on Mark’s face when Cooper introduced himself had spoken volumes. Mark hadn’t been happy about it, clearly feeling as if she’d duped him into an awkward meeting with her ex-boyfriend. This simply wasn’t the case and she was obligated to set that part of the night straight.

  When Mark had invited her over for a drink, she would have easily declined if there hadn’t been static between them. After leaving the rink, Mark hadn’t said but two words in the car. So here she was. Perhaps because she wanted to clarify things—or maybe just to have some quiet time with a man she liked looking at.

  Mark joined her on the deck, handing her a glass of red wine. It wasn’t often she drank. Because of serving alcoholic beverages at the bar, she shied away from drinking any night she was working. And when she wasn’t, one glass could relax her to the point of falling asleep on the sofa.

  She took a sip, enjoying the fruity flavor swirling around in her mouth. She knew wines, and this vintage tasted excellent. It had a currant flavor with full body. Definitely a Cabernet.

  “You warm enough?” Mark asked, standing close.

  “Actually, yes. It’s nice outside.”

  Arching a brow, he suggested, “I’ve got a cozy fireplace I can flip the switch on.”

  Dubious, she slanted her gaze over him and didn’t address the intended message. “I’m good.”

  There were two deck chairs and he offered her one. She sat, a small round table between them.

  For a long while, as the air lightly whispered in the boughs, they sipped wine and kept their thoughts to themselves. In the distance, a floatplane headed for the channel, its white strobe lights blinking in an indigo sky. The berths were void of cruise ships and the shops had long since closed for the day.

  While Dana struggled to find the words to explain herself without coming across as vulnerable, Mark took the effort away from her as he spoke first.

  “So what did you want me to be tonight? Your boy toy to show off to the ex-old man?” His hooded eyes glittered in the dim light, a dark brown that didn’t carry the usual mischief and twinkle. Clearly he was perturbed.

  “I don’t need a boy toy,” she countered. “It wasn’t like that. It didn’t matter that Cooper was there—I wanted to go with you and be…normal.”

  He nailed her with a hard stare. “What’s normal?”

  Choosing her answer carefully, she said, “Going out and doing the things women do. They hang out with guys, as friends. They—”

  “Are we friends?” he cut in.

  “Well…I suppose.”

  “After I had my tongue down your throat—you suppose.” His statement was about as blunt as a dull knife blade.

  In a smooth motion of his legs, he propped his heavy feet on the deck railing and slid lower in his chair, his muscles taut, while he chewed over what she’d said.

  “Why do you have to be so crass?” she queried, then drank a long sip of wine. The alcohol warmed her to the core and instantly took the edge off her scattered nerves.

  “So why’d you call me?” Mark’s voice sliced through the night in a whiskey-smooth tone. “I’m sure there’s a lineup of guys in town who would have gone with you.”

  This was the truth, but Dana hadn’t wanted to be with anyone else tonight. She wouldn’t readily admit it, but she enjoyed being in Mark’s company. Talking to him about a variety of things came easy. On the other hand, when he was in a teasing mood, he sent her blood to boiling.

  “I wanted to go with you,” she responded quietly. “It’s been a long time since I went out with anyone. Not since Terran was born. You do the math. Being a single mom plus working a lot means I don’t have time to date. And I just didn’t want to involve my son with anyone.” She swallowed, staring ahead and not making eye contact with him. “What you said at Burger Queen bothered me. I had to prove to you that I wasn’t afraid of getting involved.”

  “I understand—but why not give me the heads-up on Coach Hockey Puck?”

  “I don’t think much about Cooper. I have to deal with him but beyond that, he’s nothing to me. I didn’t parade you in front of him for any ulterior motive. He just happens to be my son’s coach.”

  Mark grew quiet, then finally replied, “Next time you want to try some kind of experiment, Freud, let me in on it first so I can be prepared. I would have put on my best shirt to look good.”

  He spoke the latter in the same monotone as his cautionary words and she wondered if he was serious—until she glanced his way and saw a grin splitting his face.

  Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help but smile. “You sure find humor in things I don’t.”

  “Baby, life’s too short not to be in it for the chuckles.”

  “Life’s filled with things I can’t chuckle about.”

  That sobered their humorous atmosphere, and she instantly regretted her remark.

  “So, tell me about Cooper. How’d you meet him?” Mark had settled in comfortably in his chair. He clearly had no timetable and wanted to hear her life story.

  Dana wasn’t sure she wanted to tell her history, but she made a snap decision to trust Mark with details she rarely shared.

  “I met Cooper in the grocery store. He always came into my lane and I thought he was funny the way he said things to me.”

  “You don’t think I’m funny.”


  “I do, too,” she countered. “I’ve laughed plenty at what you’ve said before.”

  “Sweetheart, you don’t laugh much.”

  Dana didn’t know whether to focus on the fact he’d actually spoken the endearment right for a change, or on his observation that she didn’t laugh very often.

  That simply wasn’t true. She laughed a lot with Terran. He was a funny little boy.

  “I do laugh.”

  “Not much,” he reiterated. “I know you think things are bad, but they could be worse.”

  “I don’t think that.” Growing uncomfortable, she took another drink. Inadequacy swept her briefly. It felt as if she’d had the chair pulled out from under her and her butt had smacked on the decking.

  The past had been challenging and difficult, but she didn’t dwell on it. She didn’t sit around at the bar drinking her sorrows away like her customers sometimes did. She’d never wallow in pity, never ask anyone to feel sorry for her.

  Bristling at Mark’s gall, she finished her wine and asked him to pour her another.

  He went into the kitchen and snagged the bottle, topping off his wine after filling hers.

  “So you thought Cooper was funny. Then what?” Mark’s feet resumed their perch on the railing and he eased into his chair once more.

  “We dated,” she went on. “And I liked him.”

  “Did you love him?”

  “Of course.”

  “Just wondering. Sometimes love and lust are confusing.”

  “I know the difference.” She tamped the surge in her pulse, her heartbeat accelerating. Mark had a way of confusing her and heating her emotions to a point where she couldn’t make heads or tails out of what she was trying to say. “I loved him and we made a baby together,” she said in a rush, “but he didn’t want to marry me. I told my brother, Terrance, what happened, and he wanted to beat the crap out of Cooper.”

  “Your brother said the right thing. I’d’ve killed any guy who got my sister pregnant and didn’t do right by her.”